Chris & I
I am a quiet person by nature. Some might even call me "shy," though I mostly just feel quiet. If you were to meet Chris and I, Chris would be the one wowing you with his conversational abilities and making you laugh. I would pipe in and laugh right along with you guys, but leading a conversation (unless I've known you for a long time) is not something I usually feel comfortable with. Don't get me wrong- when I'm around my friends, I can be very talkative and fun and frankly, a complete goofball. It's just that "reaching out and getting to know someone new" part. Being social has just never been something that has felt completely natural for me (except for this brief period in middle school when I got really loud and obnoxious and was actually voted most spirited by my eighth grade class. Sigh, adolescence.).
The gal who gave me a MySpace page and a ridiculous nickname.
With this in mind, it's understandable that social media has never been my forté. I was the last person in the universe to get a MySpace page (which was a direct result of drinking entirely way too much champagne one New Year's Eve. It was the same night that I earned an embarrassing nickname, which perhaps I'll share with you at a later date.). I only joined Facebook to stay in touch with people I met while overseas (they had no idea that MySpace even still existed. And this was five years ago). When I moved back to the U.S. and began personal training again, I remember one of my clients, a wealthy older gentleman, telling me that he had just invested in his friend's son's new social media company. He said "I really don't know that much about it. It's supposed to be like Facebook, but it's all status updates. It's called 'Tweet' or something like that." I laughed and thought to myself that he had just made a ridiculous investment. When twitter became the next big thing, I probably felt the same way that people who scoffed at the idea of the internet did. I never joined Twitter because it was just too overwhelming to me.
Starting Keepin' It Kind began a new chapter for me. I found myself getting to know fellow bloggers online and connecting with people in a way I never had before. It has truly helped me open up. Even as I write this post, I feel pretty vulnerable discussing one of my weaknesses, but a year ago, I never would have thought that this would be me today. I like this new strength that I've built and so instead of shying away from a vulnerability, I am challenging it.
My dog making funny faces- there's more from where this came from on Instagram!
Several months ago, I joined instagram, and found a form of social media I could get on board with. Pictures of peoples' pets and food? Sign me up! Perhaps it is because I've become so comfortable with instagram, or maybe it's because a few people have told me that I was being ridiculous missing out by not being on Twitter, but my friends, I have finally joined the 21st century: I got a Twitter account.
As I said, this is a difficult thing for me and I'm doing my best to get a handle on it all, but my goal is to turn this social media fear/shyness/weakness into a strength. I would love it if you would follow me on Twitter, and if you haven't yet, check me out on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram too! 2013 is the year Kristy Turner becomes a social media butterfly (or, at the very least, becomes proficient at using them all)!
Thank you so much to all of you for your continued support- every comment you make literally makes me shine. 🙂
Shira
Woot! Congrats Kristy - I am going to head over and follow you 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story with us too - I'd have never thought you were socially shy in ANY way! You've done a fantastic job working with this challenge - and good for you - best of luck on your goal this year!
keepinitkind
Thank you, Shira! I don't really feel shy. It's just that "reaching out and meeting people" part that has always felt a little out of my comfort zone to me. Now, I'm just working on getting comfortable outside of my comfort zone. Thank you so much for your support! xo
Mary
I just recently subscribed to your blog and I had to comment this post.
I'm an introvert too, so I know how you feel. Your story could of been my story (except I don't blog), even my boyfriend is the eloquent one in our couple.
That said, congratulations on your blog. I'm inspired by the beautiful recipes and your courage.
keepinitkind
Thank you so much for your kind words, Mary! It feels so good to meet other people who feel the same way that I do. Thank you so much for following- I look forward to getting to know you! 🙂
Melissa
I can relate! And I too had that adolescent burst of obnoxiousness & was voted "most unique" my freshman year of high school.
I actually find it much easier to be "social" online, although you'll rarely see a real photo of me. I am quite shy in person. I went to the first Vida Vegan Con & didn't introduce myself to anyone. My goal this year is to make "friends" in person with the vegan pals I interact with online when I go to VVC & various other vegan events! Hope to "meet" you someday soon!
keepinitkind
Thank you, Melissa! I am so glad that I'm not the only one! And I will be meeting you at VVC then! 🙂
Annie
I also can relate to this post. I'm a waaaay late bloomer, but finally (at 46...) feel comfortable in social situations. I'd still rather be home with my man and my dog, reading a good book - but I've gotten over a lot of my fear and reluctance. Social media/blogging is a very comfortable way to interact - though it's easy to take it too far. Anyway...it's been responsible for introducing me to some amazing people and for that, I'm grateful.
keepinitkind
That sounds exactly like me- I am happiest when I am at home with Chris and Samantha and I'm reading a good book or watching a good movie. Social media is definitely more comfortable than, say, conversing with a room full of strangers, but my brain has built up a huge block against it, making it seem much more difficult than it really is. I'm focusing on removing that mental block and turning it into something I like, or at least, don't mind doing. 🙂
Caitlin
well i follow you everywhere 😉 and i think you're pretty freakin fabulous.
i have a hard time with instagram and twitter, not necessarily because i'm shy, but more because i am a private person and don't like sharing day to day stuff with everyone. but, i try to do those social things... but i'm not good at it like so many others.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Caitlin- I follow you everywhere too for the same reason. 🙂
I know what you mean- some people I follow post SO MUCH, so often. It seems like so much work and so much time. I don't know that I'll ever be able to make that kind of time for it, but I do want to work to make it something I don't dread or fear. 🙂
Chef Amber Shea
I am the exact same way - a quiet (not shy, but quiet) wallflower type who'd rather listen and think than talk. Thank goodness I married an extrovert too! Doesn't it make social situations so much easier?
Following you on Twitter now! Follow me back at @chefambershea. 🙂
keepinitkind
That is me to a T! I would much rather listen and reflect than talk- unless I'm super comfortable, I feel like it all comes out in a jumbled mess. 🙂 And thank goodness for extroverted husbands! 🙂
Angela
I feel the same as you regarding social media and putting myself "out there." I recently joined the Twitter and blogging world and though I still feel a bit reserved and unsure, I do think it's helping me feel a little more confident expressing myself! I'm now following you on Twitter 🙂
keepinitkind
Thank you, Angela! And congrats on joining the blogging world! I look forward to following you and your blog too. 🙂
Angela
Thanks, Kristy!
Richa
I know atleast one person who works at all of the social media companies..:) the perks of being in software.. 😉 and almost all of them are not really social online but ridiculously so in real life.
I might talk a bit in big gatherings but it takes me a really long time to open up and be good friends with anyone.. and now even more so.
I dont use twitter as much, or rather havent figured out how to use it to its potential:) hope someone gives me a primer soon:)
keepinitkind
I'm the exact opposite actually- I feel much more comfortable one-on-one or in small group settings. In large groups, it always feels exhausting to me trying to keep up with the conversation.
I could use a twitter primer too! It almost feels like a different language. I suppose it will get easier... 🙂
Richa
For me it depends on the people. 🙂 It is amazing that you can write about issues like this. I usually feel very shy about that for the fear of being judged or maybe shattering someones virtual image of me or something:) most of this ends up on my personal blog.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Richa. I debated for awhile on publishing this one, but in the end, I wanted to be genuine with my readers even if it meant exposing one of my weaknesses. 🙂
MotherLodeBeth
Personally I like being quiet. Am not shy. But being quiet allows me to be a good listener to what others have to say. Yes, I speak if its something I would like information about or have experience with. But being quiet is part of my aspergers, as well as my 'zen' way of living.
In fact I dislike being in a room full of people all talking at the same time. It's like clutter noise where you cannot even hear anyone actually talking. Thus a waste of my time.
keepinitkind
I quite enjoy being quiet too. On my last project, for work, I had my own office. People would keep popping in, asking me if I was lonely in there all by myself. It was quite the opposite- I loved having my little quiet space, not needing to react to everything that was being said outside.
I also don't care for big, loud rooms or crowds- it's terribly exhausting for me, but I always tell myself that the experience is good for me- it will let me practice my patience. 🙂
janet @ the taste space
Way to go... I am also more quiet, but a lot more goes on in my head than one would think. Rob does more than enough talking for the both of us. 🙂
I am trying to reduce my social clutter but that's just because I find it a time suck. I need to prioritize my time, focus to those that mean the most.. don't worry, I added you in pinterest since I adore your creations. 🙂
keepinitkind
Thank you, Janet! I'm finding it hugely comforting that there are so many others who prefer to be quiet, and even more amusing that we all choose extroverted partners!
I know what you mean- I check my personal facebook page maybe once or twice a week. Forcing myself to add time to social media feels awkward, but I'm finding if I just give myself alotted times for social media (10 minutes on Twitter, 5 on Pinterest, etc.) it feels much less overwhelming. 🙂
Gabby @ the veggie nook
I am exactly like you! Not shy but quiet and usually the one listening more than talking. When I'm around good friends I'm totally loud and goofy, but with anyone else, not so much. Yet another commonality!
Yay for joining twitter! It's so much fun, promise 🙂
keepinitkind
Every time we talk, I'm more and more convinced that we are practically the same person! 🙂 I'm looking forward to getting more proficient with Twitter- I'm still learning. 🙂
Somer
I'm on twitter, but not really sure how to use it. I didn't sign up for facebook until I started Vedged Out, so I'm pretty sure that I'm the "real" last person in the universe to hop on that bandwagon 😉
Thanks for your email earlier today. You inspired me to get my butt going again. xx
keepinitkind
I'm just glad you're okay (somewhat)! I miss our chats! 🙂
I'm still learning with Twitter, but I can already see how it's a great way to share with your audience and network with other people. 🙂
Liz
Your blog is FAST becoming one of my favorites (I found you just before New Year's Eve) and this post is one of the reasons why.
I, like, many of the previous commenters, am an introverted, quiet type with an extroverted mate. 🙂 And, I'm a pretty private person, sharing things with only those VERY close to me. I'm a homebody, like you, and feel happiest on my own turf, with quiet surrounding me. I'm mostly uncomfortable around others, never feeling like I measure up. That sounds so SAD, doesn't it? LOL
I can one up you with the social media, though -- I don't belong to ANY of them! And, I don't think I ever will, for various reasons. While I find it easier to speak through type, I also find that too much online interaction (which I can be prone to do) ends up being a negative for me.
Besides, I'm more boring than most and wouldn't have anything to share that would be of remote interest to others. 🙂
This is going to make me sounds SO old, but the current generation is just WAY to open about themselves. I love the information and opportunities the Internet provides, but people, I feel, can overshare without even realizing it since we're so USED to it and everyone ELSE is doing it! I appreciate honesty and openness, but some seem to take social media as a license to completely disregard sense and sensibility. I'm making myself sound like I'm 100, right? LOL
I appreciate, though, the chances it can offer those that would otherwise be silent without it. It can be a great tool in helping those connect with others that they never would've "met". Or, at the very least, knowing there are other people with similar personality traits and preferences to their own "out there." 🙂
keepinitkind
That is so sweet, Liz! It means so much to me that you enjoy Keepin' It Kind- Chris and I certainly love working on it. 🙂
First off, nothing that you said made me think that you are sad or old. 🙂 I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I debated for quite awhile about whether or not I was going to do join Twitter, and once I did, how I was going to write this post. I try to be as completely upfront and honest here as I can because I hate the idea of someone having a false image of me in their mind, but I also try to limit what I share. On posts that I do reveal a little bit more of myself, there is much more hesitancy before hitting "Publish."
I have found, however, that by connecting with people through this blog as well as the small amount of social media that I was participating in, that I have become more comfortable in "real life" situations. At times when the old me would've felt panicked by not having anything to say, I now feel much more comfortable just listening or allowing there to be silence. I feel more comfortable upon meeting new people when before, that was one of the hardest things in the world for me.
I am no way completely changed, and I don't think I will ever be a social butterfly, but my hopes are that as I continue to connect with more people, it won't be something that is uncomfortable for me anymore. I've also found that, though it's not my most favorite thing to be sitting in front of the computer using social media, it has proven to be a great way to get to know other bloggers and people like you. For that, I am very grateful for it. 🙂
Alaine at My GF & DF Living
I am so excited to find your blog! I love this post. I am too pretty shy by nature but I am slowly "coming out my shell a little." Thanks for sharing. I know, by experience, that isn't always the easiest. It's amazing though how many people you can meet through the foodie world. I love it.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Alaine! I can definitely say that food blogging has changed my life, in more ways than one. I absolutely love it too. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Bobbie {the vegan crew}
Too funny, reading this I felt like you could have been writing about me and my husband. He is an extrovert to the extreme, and I am...well, not. I love being around people, but I'm definitely quiet and more introspected until I get to know someone. Like you, I don't consider myself "shy" by any means though. Anyway, welcome to twitter (it's definitely my favorite social media platform)!
keepinitkind
Thank you so much, Bobbie! It's so interesting that so many of us fall into that category- quiet with extroverted partner! 🙂
Stephanie
Thank you for such a lovely post and sharing! I can totally relate to you. In person, I'm very introverted. I have loved joining the vegan blogging and getting to know so many wonderful people-including you! I have yet to brave Twitter! I do really enjoy Instagram though 🙂
keepinitkind
Thank you, Stephanie. 🙂 Twitter is still quite confusing to me, but I'm learning. Instagram is just so fun and easy! 🙂
Bex @ Vegan Sparkles
hehe, I just recently joined the Twitterverse too, Kristy, and still have no idea what I'm doing when I'm there. 😉 I'm glad you're branching out, though. It can only lead to further growth and confidence and the world needs your beautiful spirit. xx
keepinitkind
You are so sweet- Thank you, Bex! Twitter is still a little overwhelming to me, but I'm embracing it. 🙂
Heather
Oh gosh, this post hits home - I too wouldn't necessarily consider myself shy, however I am very reserved when meeting new people...it takes me a little while to open up in a new social situation - however I am definitely the more outgoing one in the relationship- Justin is a silent observer until he relaxes a bit 🙂 Oh gosh, you brave girl - I haven't even considered twitter, I could see myself getting super overwhelmed with tweeting 🙁 So happy you are branching out and jumping on the Social Media Bandwagon!
keepinitkind
Thank you, Heather! Twitter can definitely be overwhelming at times, and it's at those times that I turn it off. 😉
AY
Thanks for this post...I can relate completely. I've always been an introvert and it's often not easy. In fact, just yesterday I told my boss about an article I read that said introverts are often mistaken for being anti-social (or even bitchy, as I'm sure my quietness may make me seem when I first meet people). But I've learned that being introverted and being anti-social are not at all the same thing. I love being around friends but after a couple hours, I tend to shut off and yearn to be home in my safe cave. I get why connecting via social media is such a revelation for people like us.
keepinitkind
I completely agree, AY- being an introvert and being anti-social are two totally different things. I like being around people- I just tend to be more comfortable doing the listening and observing. People often tell me that their first impression of me is that I'm bitchy or depressed, but really, I'm just quiet. And I totally relate to the craving alone time after being around people for awhile. That is me to a "T." 🙂