Now I'm going to switch to a no-joking mode and tell you a true story about a time that The Chickpea was there for me during one of the lowest moments of my life. Ok, it was The Chickpea and a gay Italian man, but still... (Disclaimer: this is a lengthy post)
Once upon a time, I was a nanny for a five-year old girl in Florence, Italy. Nina* was a very sweet but very strong-willed girl (Read: spoiled) who lived with her mother, Genevieve* (Nina's parents were divorced and her father lived in Rome). Genevieve was also very strong-willed, but she was also just plain crazy. I was warned of this by the prior nanny (who found me through craigslist and later became my roommate and good friend). Genevieve had been raised by a nanny and the only way she knew how to mother a child was to hire a nanny and give Nina anything she wanted whenever she asked (and/or screamed, cried, kicked, and thrashed about) for it. I had gotten the job because they were looking for an English speaking nanny, and since I had experience teaching English to Italian children, and was willing to commit to 6 months (they'd had a pretty high nanny turnover over the last year), I was a shoo-in. I had envisioned becoming a part of their family, becoming a good friend and confidante to Nina, all the while enjoying everything Florence had to offer in my downtime. I couldn't have been more wrong.
My day would begin by warming up milk to a certain temperature, then pouring it into a baby bottle and delivering it to Nina, (Yes, she was five and still drank from a bottle) who would be laying in her mother's bed. Once she finished her bottle, I would take her into the bathroom and wash her bum in the bidet. Then I would dress her in one of her $200 dresses for school, before feeding her breakfast. Her mother would walk her to school. While she was at school, I would go for a run, then come home and wash all of Nina's blankets (even though she had slept in her mother's bed), along with the clothes and pajamas she had worn the day before. I would iron the sheets and her clothes (including the pajamas) and put everything away. Before I ate lunch, I would sweep and mop Nina's bedroom. Mind you, they had a maid as well to handle the rest of the house. If needed, I would then go to the market to pick up anything they might need. Once a week I had Italian lessons, but otherwise, I had an hour or two to kill before walking to Nina's school to pick her up. I would then take her home for a snack, then take her to ballet or her dentist appointments or wherever else Genevive requested that I take her. Afterwards it would be time for her dinner followed by "Bathtime." Nina wanted so badly for her mother to give her a bath every night, and resisted me bathing her with everything she had. "Bathtime" consisted of me chasing Nina through the house, wrestling her to the ground, throwing her over my shoulder, carrying her to the bathroom, somehow prying her clothes off and dropping her into the tub, all while Nina was thrashing about and hysterically screaming and crying for her mother. Her mother's response was to "Use your little brain to figure out how to handle the situation." That is how Genevive would talk to me when she was being nice. And this was my day. Almost every day (occasionally, I had a weekend off).
Things only continued to get worse. I received evidence that the devil truly does wear Prada when she gave me one of her old Prada coats because my coats were "not suitable for many social occasions." It should be noted that Genevieve was an amazon while I tend to lean closer to the "petite" end of the spectrum, so this coat, though designer, was anything but flattering. But I had to wear it whenever I was in public with her daughter. Then there was the weekend at "The Country House in Todi," which was how both of them referred to it every single time it came up. While I was in Europe, I kept a blog, of sorts, but instead of posting to a website I emailed my "posts" to a large group of people, two to three times per week. Because I cannot muster up the right words to explain this weekend, I am going to use excerpts from these "posts."
We left Thursday morning, All Saints Day here in Italy. I knew, before we even left the house, that this was not going to be good. I actually had to hold back my tears during the two hour drive there. It all started because, as we were getting ready to leave that morning, she yelled at me for not packing Nina’s retainer (when Genevieve had already packed Nina's suitcase herself), saying “Really, Kristy, you must learn to do as I do. You must make sure that Nina has everything she needs throughout the entire day. I can’t always be here to hold your hand!”
Because some friends of Genevieve's, and all seven of their children, were staying at "The Country House in Todi," that evening I was informed I must always eat with the children in order to supervise them. Then, after dinner, when the children were in their pajamas and watching a movie, I was told “You may go to your room now. You don’t need to stay with them while they watch the movie. Good night.” So I was sent to bed . . . at 7:00pm. My bedroom was a small, windowless room in the basement.
Later, Nina runs in the house, and I follow her and ask her what she needs. She ignores me, and goes straight to her mother and tells her something in Italian. Then she runs off, looking for something. I ask her what she is looking for, and again she ignores me. Genevieve yells at me, yet again, “She is looking for her scooter! Sometimes she does not know the correct word in English, and that is when you must try harder to communicate with her!” I said “But Genevieve, she wouldn’t say anything to me. I asked, and she didn’t say anything. I. . .” to which she interrupted with “So try harder! I mean, God! I can’t always be here, you know!” It is so frustrating because when Genevieve is gone, Nina and I get on just fine. Its only when her mother is there, that she prefers to go to her instead, which is natural. The girl wants her mother's attention. But her mother wants nothing to do with her. I was so upset after that, I felt like vomiting. I have never felt more alone than I did right then.
Genevieve yelled at Nina for no good reason. Nina asked her mother a question, Genevieve yelled something Italian in response, Nina ran to her room, bawling. I followed her, after a couple of minutes, and she had buried herself under all the pillows and because she was crying so hard, she could barely breathe. I mean, she was doing those sobs where it looks like she’s screaming in agony, but no sound was coming out. After scratching her back for five minutes (her favorite thing), she manages to get out “Mommy says I can’t do anything right. She says I am bad and do everything wrong.” She was told this, or yelled this rather, just for asking a question while her mother was chatting with a friend. I almost cried for her. After awhile, I got her to come down for dinner.
Earlier in the day, I had been told that they were having meat for dinner and that I would need to make my own dinner at some point when I was not tending to Nina. When I brought Nina down for dinner, Mikale, one of Genevieve's friends (the gay Italian man), pulled me aside and said "I did not feel like eating the meat. It gives me headache. I made supa de ceci for us. Ceci are little, how you say, uh, beans. It is traditional peasant food in Tuscany." He poured me a bowl and I took it over to the children's table where Nina and I both tried not to cry while we ate our dinner; she because she was heartbroken, and me because I was so moved by Mikale's actions. When I was at my most hopeless, my most lonely, my most lost, I had this creamy, soothing bowl of kindness and chickpeas to warm my heart and give me a glimpse of hope. That bowl of soup was like the rainbow after the storm, making it clear that things would get better.
I am beyond thankful for this time in my life. Even though things got much, much worse (another story for another day), before they got better I wouldn't have had it any other way. I still get pretty emotional when I think about this time in my life, and I have to admit, this was the hardest post I've written so far. I still think about Nina, and I hope that by now, she has found some peace with her mother. However, if I didn't have that experience, I never would have felt the strongest sense of loneliness I'd ever had, urging me, for the first time in the many months I had been in Europe, to go back to California. That day, in particular, renewed my faith in, as Blanche DuBois would say, "the kindness of strangers." Perhaps that is why, to this day, a big bowl of soup is what I crave at the end of a trying day. There's nothing that puts my soul at ease like a piping hot bowl of kindness, especially when creamy chickpeas are involved.
tuscan chickpea soup
Ingredients
- 1 teaspoon olive oil (only if using stovetop method)
- 1/2 onion, chopped
- 3 cloves garlic, chopped
- 2-3 carrots, peeled and chopped
- 3-4 celery stalks, chopped
- 4 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas (or 3 15oz. cans, rinsed and drained)
- 5 cups vegetable broth
- 2-3 sprigs of fresh rosemary
- 2 bay leaves
- 2 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1 teaspoon dried sage
- 1 teaspoon liquid smoke
- 1/3 cup nutritional yeast
- salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
- Slow-cooker Method: Combine all ingredients (except nutritional yeast, salt and pepper) in your slow-cooker. Mix to combine. Cook on low for 5-6 hours (can even go a little longer if needed- I did about 7 because I was at work). Use an immersion blender, or blend in a blender in batches, to puree until smooth. Stir in nutritional yeast and add salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot with crusty bread. Enjoy!
- Stovetop Method: In a large pot, heat about a teaspoon of olive oil over medium heat for about one minute. Add the onion and garlic and sauté until onion is translucent. Add the carrots and celery and saute for about 5 minutes. Add the chickpeas, herbs, liquid smoke, and vegetable broth. Cover the pot and bring to a boil. Once it is boiling, lower to a low simmer, and return the lid to the pot, but leave a crack open to let air escape. Let the soup simmer for about 30 minutes. Remove from heat. Use an immersion blender, or blend in a blender in batches, to puree until smooth. Stir in nutritional yeast and add salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot with crusty bread. Enjoy!
*Names have been changed.
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Photography by Chris Miller
Gabby @ the veggie nook
Wow Kristy, my heart aches for that poor little girl. You know, as hard as the situation was for you, she is so lucky she had someone like you pulling for her and to show her a little love. And wow what kindness from Mikale. No wonder you see chickpea soup as a source of comfort 🙂
Thanks for sharing this story Kristy, sometimes the hardest ones are the most worthwhile.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Gabby. My heart aches for her as well. Mikale was such an angel. I am so thankful he was there at that time. 🙂
Caitlin
what an intense story, kristy! i love reading all about your experiences and stories, and this one in particular played out like a movie in my head. poor nina..unfortunately she'll probably end up like her mother. but maybe you were the shining light in her life and she will grow up with fond memories of experiencing life with you and be a kind and caring person.
and mikale! such a sweet man. i can imagine him making you this bowl of soup was very much loved and appreciated during a time where the last thing you probably wanted to do was squeeze in making dinner with all of your other duties. and it just looks so. good. and comforting.
i loved this post <3
keepinitkind
THank you, Cailtin. I so hope that Nina has found some sort of peace. And I also think about Mikale a lot, him taking me in the kitchen to show me the soup and pouring me a bowl. I can't even explain how moved I was. I'm so thankful for this whole experience, even for the very rough ending. 🙂
Lysa
This is an amazing post...is such a big emotional story. Poor little Nina...
Thanks to Mikale for the amazing soup and thanks to you for sharing this amazing story
keepinitkind
Thank you, Lysa- I had such a rough time writing it. I'm so happy to hear that people like it. 🙂
JohannaGGG
oh this just makes me so sad to hear how badly this woman treated you and her little girl - what sort of warped view of people did she have - and couldn't even a child defrost her a little! The soup sounds lovely - I agree that all soup is comforting but after this story this soup seems even more necessary
keepinitkind
I could go on and on about this woman- this was just the tip of the iceberg. Anyone would need a bowl of soup after dealing with her. 😉
Cadry
Wow, Kristy, what a wonderful post. As terrible as that job wound up being for you, it sounds like it was very transformative. I'm so curious about what happened next that sealed your end there, because any one of the details you laid out above sound like reasons to leave. I wonder if you made it to your six month mark. It's no surprise that they'd already had such a nanny turnaround. It makes me feel sad that you were treated that way, knowing how hard you try and what a loving person you are. In those moments, the little kindnesses really matter. I'm glad that Mikale was looking out for you!
keepinitkind
Thank you, Cadry. It was a very tranformative time and looking back, I still get very caught up, emotionally. Mikale was such a great example to me to how valuable random acts of kindness are. He is such an inspiration to me. 🙂
Beth
Oh my goodness, Kristy. Thank you for sharing this. It is so frightfully sad. I have read a book several times that discusses why these women are the way they are. It's called "Understanding the Borderline Mother" by Christine Ann Lawson. It's very powerful and might be painful for you to read, but it's helpful nonetheless.
keepinitkind
Thank you- I've heard of that book a few times, but I've never read it. Now I feel like I should devote some time to reading it. It is a frame of mind that I cannot wrap my brain around.
Sandi
Your post reminded me of a time, when I was your age, where I was working in a horrendous situation. A kind, father-like client noticed something was off and took me out to a local restaurant to talk, because "it looked like I needed to talk." I spilled everything to him over a bowl of spinach artichoke dip (this was before I was vegan). During the talk, the client mentioned he wanted to hire me to do a few projects for him, as he felt my current place of employment was too expensive. That day, I felt the pride that self-employment generates. Your post also renewed my passion to reach out to young women and help them through issues I experienced. To this day, spinach artichoke dip and that restaurant reminds me of comfort and the simple act of kindness we all can show.
keepinitkind
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is so neat to hear how life takes interesting twists and turns and things that seem so dire and awful at the time actually shape your future in a positive way. I loved your story, Sandi. 🙂
janet @ the taste space
What a touching story... I am surprised you lasted 6 months!
keepinitkind
Thanks, Janet. I didn't last 6 months, but looking back, I'm surprised I stayed for so long!
Michelle
I love reading your stories...poor Nina... so sad mommy dearest maybe....
Ya for Mikale tho..what a nice man
This soup looks awesome, I am excited about soup season
keepinitkind
Thanks, Michelle. I really feel for Nina. 🙁
I love soup season too- so stoked that it's that time of year. I even wore a scarf yesterday (a light cotton one, but still)!
Michelle
This was so good! Keep those soup recipes coming
keepinitkind
Oh yay!!! I'm so happy that you liked it! 🙂
Melissa
Great post, Kristy! Such a fascinating story. It is so interesting how certain foods can evoke such strong memories. I'm also craving this soup now! It sounds so easy and delicious. Thanks for sharing!
keepinitkind
Thanks, Melissa. 🙂 It's so interesting how certain emotions make you crave certain foods, isnt' it?
Somer
Oh Kristy, this is worse than any non fiction nanny story! How heart wrenching. It's hard to believe people can be so mean and think they are so superior to others. It makes you wonder what happened to them to make them that way. Glad you are in a sunnier spot in your life and that you can reflect back on this with some life lessons learned. Thank goodness for your employer's gay friend and your dear chickpea coming to rescue you. xoxo
keepinitkind
Thank you, Somer- I truly felt like I was in a bad movie or book, it was so unreal to me how someone could behave that way. I'm so thankful for it, though, because I wouldn't be where I am today without it. 🙂
Reia@TheCrueltyFreeReview
Thanks so much for sharing what was obviously a very hard time in your life. I couldn't imagine what it was like, but I'm glad that just once a wonderful stranger reached out to you. You honor him and his kindness with this recipe.
keepinitkind
Thank you so much- I truly owe Mikale. He was such a godsend and such a great reminder as to how important kindness is. 🙂
Jackie @ Vegan Yack Attack!
Oh my goodness! That woman treated you like a slave! Insane. I'm glad that you are able to shed a positive light on what you went through and use it as a learning experience. Plus, the kindness of that man! I wonder if he'll ever know the impact that had on you.
You version of the soup looks tremendous, and the ingredients are perfect for Fall/Winter. Yum!
keepinitkind
Thanks, Jackie. It was a rough time, but I wouldn't be who/where I am today without that time in my life. 🙂 See you Saturday!
narf7
Isn't it incredibly sad that Geneveive most probably had a mother like that too! Injustice perpetuates injustice. A no win situation...you, however won! You got to see how a privilaged live isn't necessarily something to lust after! How fortunate you were to meet that kind man and his bowl of soup. I couldn't have lasted like you did. You get 10 life points for your tenacity! I would have been unable to last a day with that woman! All I can think of is that your 6 months (or however long you lasted) gave Nina a taste of human kindness and real life that she wouldn't have had otherwise. Some day in the future she may think of YOU fondly despite what you felt at the time 🙂
keepinitkind
Thank you for your encouraging words! I totally agree, and feel sorry for Genevieve because she likely experienced exactly what she put upon Nina. It's very sad, but I am so thankful for that experience- you learn so much about yourself during the challenges life sends your way. 🙂
Richa`
wow. i cant imagine how you went through that period. good to hear that some positive things came out of it. i am curious about the rest of the story and the rest of the months too.
Thank you for sharing the experience. the soup looks fabulous. i am so glad someone was looking out for you.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Richa- I can't believe I went through it either. It feels like another lifetime ago, or a bad dream. I'll share the rest of the story on another day. 🙂
Courtney
Oh my goodness...I have been a nanny before too, and for some pretty awful families, but that definitely takes the cake. It sounds like such a horrible live in situation! It does not make me miss my nannying days 🙂 I am glad you are happier now!
Courtney
keepinitkind
Thanks, Courtney. It's amazing what you learn about people when you live and work for them. I certainly don't miss my nannying days either. 😉
Julia | JuliasAlbum.com
What a beautiful soup! Perfect for the Fall!
keepinitkind
Thank you, Julia! Isn't soup season great?! 🙂
Bobbie {the vegan crew}
This story breaks my heart for you and Nina, but at least you got out...poor girl. That was a lovely gesture by Mikale. Food is so strongly tied to memories/emotions and I can see why soup is so comforting for you. This one in particular is beautiful and looks like it would warm the soul.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Bobbie- this soup is a great example of exactly that- food being strongly tied to memories and emotions. I am so thankful for that time in my life- it has greatly influenced who/where I am now. 🙂
The Cookie Fairy
You are a brilliant story teller. This tale reminds me of so many food memoirs from great cooks/writers that I've read in the past. I could see this published in a book. What a moving story.
keepinitkind
What an incredible complement! I am so flattered that you liked my post that much. 🙂
Courtney Jones
This soup looks incredible. It's funny - chickpeas are often associated with Moroccan and Indian cuisines! I never thought to incorporate tuscan inspired flavours. Genius! 🙂
keepinitkind
They're pretty popular in Tuscany, surprisingly. There's these little chickpea fritters that you can find in bars sometimes for apertivo- sooooo good! 🙂
Adriana Morgan
Thanks for the story, I feel sorry for the little girl having such a selfish and unbalanced mother. I will try to make the soup, it looks delicious!
Regards from a Brazilian who loved Florence...
keepinitkind
Thank you, Adriana! I know- I truly feel for Nina and hope that's she's found some sort of peace with her mother. 🙂
felicia
wow... sounds like the real-life version of The Nanny's Diary!!!
keepinitkind
It totally was. It was like The Nanny Diearies and The Devil Wears Prada combined!
Heather
Oh my, this sounds as if it came straight out of a hollywood movie - my heart aches for Nina, I could never imagine my nother being so hard and cruel. Hopefully you are right and she found peace with her Mother and is in a better place and a better person.
I love reading about your experiences, thank you for sharing your story with us - and this soup does look like a big hug in a bowl.
keepinitkind
Thank you, Heather. And I know- looking back, it feels so unreal, like another lifetime ago. It's so crazy.
Katie
I made this following the slow cooker directions, and it was pretty good. Next time, I will reduce the broth from 5 cups to 3-4 because the soup didn't blend well for me - it didn't become creamy, but had pieces of chickpea, etc. floating a watery broth. I skimmed out the solid parts with a slotted spoon and mixed them with rice, and it was much better. For my taste preference, I will also probably halve the liquid smoke next time. Overall, it was a good soup, but next time, I will use less broth and might use one can of a creamier bean like cannellini or something to get a smoother texture.
Julie
A great soup! I love the smokiness and the texture. Thanks for the great recipe. We're enjoying it tonight. Even more so, thank you for the beautiful story. You should publish your biography with all of these stories and your becoming vegan stories. I love to read all of these that you include in your blog, and I think you would write a beautiful and inspiring book. 🙂 Thank you for Keeping it KIND. 🙂
Roxy
Made this soup recently and it is definitely being added to my regular soup list! Very hearty, filling, and economical to make! Thanks 🙂