The last couple days, The Chickpea has been trying to prove his manliness to me.
I think it all started a couple weeks ago, when I caught him watching Ally McBeal reruns. When he saw me in the doorway, he quickly changed the channel to baseball. This raised my suspicions because I know he doesn’t like baseball…
Then a few days later, I caught him scrapbooking while listening to Sarah McLachlan. When I asked him what he was working on, he quickly sputtered something out about it being a gift for his mom.
Since then, The Chickpea has been walking around in a faux-leather biker jacket and talking about his motorcycle, which he’s nicknamed “The Destroyer.” He’s been trying to grow a mustache, but the poor thing is just going to be baby-faced forever, so he’s been wearing a fake one (at first glance, you would have no idea it’s him! He’s a dead ringer for Tom Selleck!). The other day he came into the room, wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, suspenders, and hiking boots (and the mustache), a hammer in his hand, and asked “Is there anything around the house that you need fixed? Because that’s what I do. I fix things. Because I’m a man.” I told him “I know you’re a man, sweetie! You don’t need to fix anything to prove that to me.” He then proceeded to go into the bathroom and start hammering at things, just to seem like he was being helpful.
All of this has been very cute to watch and I’ve just been letting him do his thing. Then one day, he said “I’m making dinner tonight! I’m a ‘Seitan & Caulipots’ kind of guy and I need something more substantial than stuffed squash or chocolate chip cookies!” I wasn’t going to stop him from giving me a break in the kitchen (though, I did end up helping him with the caulipots. His arm got tired from all of the mashing). The result? The Chickpea did a fantastic job of making dinner (I can’t get over how talented he is)! We feasted on a sumptuous seitan mushroom roast that was juicy and full of flavor with flecks of crimini mushrooms throughout. Served alongside Chickpea Caulipots and covered in Miso Mushroom Gravy on a cool fall night, this meal was so satisfying and definitely proved to me what how manly The Chickpea can be. Although, he did want to listen to Taylor Swift while we cooked…
seitan mushroom roast
Ingredients
- 2 cups crimini mushrooms, sliced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 2/3 cups vegetable broth
- 3 tablespoons soy sauce
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 tsp liquid smoke
- 2 cups vital wheat gluten flour
- 2/3 cup chickpea flour
- ½ cup nutritional yeast
- 2 teaspoons onion powder
- 1 teaspoon dried thyme
- 1 teaspoon dried sage
- 1 teaspoon cumin
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
- olive oil spray
Instructions
- Preheat the oven to 350.
- In a large bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. Set aside.
- In the bowl of a food processor, pulse the garlic cloves a few times and then add the mushrooms. Pulse until the mushrooms are in small pieces, no bigger than ¼ inch long/wide. Pour the mushrooms and garlic into a small bowl and add the other liquid ingredients. Mix to combine.
- Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and use a wooden spoon to mix them together as much as possible. Once you can no longer use your spoon, use your hands to knead the dough until it comes together into a ball.
- Set out 2 pieces of aluminum foil, each about 16-18 inches long. Lay them out so that one overlaps the other, horizontally, by about 5-6 inches. Lightly spray the aluminum foil with olive oil spray. Turn the ball out onto the aluminum foil and use your hand to roll it into a log shape, about 12-13 inches long.
- Fold each side of the aluminum foil over the top of the log until it is tightly wrapped. Fold over the ends so the log is tightly sealed.
- Place the wrapped log on a baking sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 60-70 minutes. Rotate the log 3-4 times while it’s cooking to ensure that it cooks evenly. Use a fork to test the roast, once it feels pretty firm, it is done. Let the roast stand for about 10 minutes before serving. Enjoy!
Notes
Technique adapted from this recipe.
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Photography by Chris Miller
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I’ve never made seitan, but I’ve been considering it for a couple weeks now and basically have all the ingredients. However, I can’t have soy. Do you think I could sub in vegetable broth for the soy sauce?
You probably could sub vegetable broth for soy sauce, but I like to use Bragg Liquid Aminos most of the time (I had run out when I made this so I dusted off the bottle of soy sauce). It adds a little bit more of a savory flavor. If you use the vegetable broth, I would add a bit more salt to make up for a little of the difference.
I loved this whole post, and especially the line about your boyfriend, the chickpea, being a “seitan & caulipots” kind of guy. Too funny!
Homemade seitan is so easy and delicious, I have a hard time paying for it already prepared! I bet the mushrooms in this version amp it up in terms of deliciousness even more!
Something I love about homemade seitan (or any seitan for that matter) is how well it freezes and thaws. That means with a bit of preparation, I can have several varieties available in the freezer for any need!
Thank you, Cadry! It makes me so happy to know that I had you laughing- almost all of your posts seem to make me giggle at least once.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve bought pre-made seitan. It’s just so easy to make really good seitan at home, and you’re so right- it freezes and thaws really well. It’s a good staple to have a back-up of.
I love this post! Your “boyfriend” sounds like a pretty funny guy. This roast looks really tasty too.
Thank you- he always puts a smile on my face.
Your delicious chickpea recipes just keep on coming. You should write a chickpea cookbook
This recipe btw is perfect for a Thanksgiving dinner.
Thank you, Richgail! I’m consdiering this for thanksgiving, but I might end up doing that stuffed squash from last week… Decisions, decisions…
Kristy, you may have saved Thanksgiving. Maybe I won’t just do the millet and lentil loaf I had planned. Let’s just say that seitan and I have a troubled past and we really haven’t been getting a long. Thanks to this post, I think he and I are encouraged to try and work things out and give it just one more chance!
I hope you two can work things out- you’re both so great and could be such great company for each other.
I’m glad you’re willing to give it another go. Doing a roast, like this, produces a much different seitan than the boiling/steaming methods. I hope you like it! 
I make a big batch of seitan every couple months and freeze it in portions. You’ve inspired me to try adding mushrooms to the next batch, thanks!
Thanks, Laura! I hope you like it!
Looks very comforting and homey! Perfect for cool fall days.
Totally comforting and homey. THanks, Annie!
i am not seitan kind of girl.. but i need to give it a chance in my kitchen i think:) all those flavors in it sound fabulous together.
Thanks, Richa!
Hahahaha this entire post had me cracking up – you are so freaking funny and adorable! I made my first seitan roast last year and I have to say yours looks 10 times better….by the way “wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, suspenders, and hiking boots (and the mustache), a hammer in his hand” this describes my Dad to a T (he is a general carpenter)- his standard winter outfit growing up: Levis Jeans, Hanes T shirt with Flannel, hanes blue sweatshirt, suspenders and hi tech hiking boots – do you think Chickpea and my Dad are brothers?
Oh my gosh, your dad sounds just like my dad! My dad was a tile setter, so that sounds pretty much exactly like his daily attire as well. Perhaps they are all related!
The seitan looks great! Good fall comfort food!
Thank you! It is totally perfect for fall!